Friday, February 24, 2017

The precipice

These are interesting times. We were so busy trying to break the glass ceiling we didn't notice how unstable our footing had become.

I wonder whether this situation can't end positively. Nobody was expecting Hillary to be anything but a business as usual politician from a well known brand who happened to be female. How many more years could we have pretended that democracy was working, had she been elected? Now we have little choice but to acknowledge the system is broken.

It's only at the precipice that we change.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Implicit commitment

Is it insensitive to say to your partner that you don't consider the relationship to be a "forever" thing?

I mean marriage is the only occasion when this promise is explicitly made. But I guess what I'm trying to get at here is how common this assumption of forever is with people, even in the very earliest stages of coupling. I've felt it multiple times in my life-- I could never help it. And my heart broke the time when I realised that my best friend and partner of five years felt it, and I didn't.

Relationships are pretty much defined by the amount of yourself that you are willing to share; with the remainder of the "person" you're seen as being made up of unconscious assumptions and extrapolations based on what will be by definition that person's most impressive side.

lol I just made a typo at the end of that last paragraph. Instead of side I typed "size". Then I giggled because it was totally a Freudian slip.

I guess the reason I'm typing all of this is because I'm finding myself having to answer these questions as I consider how to approach a co-worker at my new job with whom there is a mutual attraction.

I find myself resisting the idea of a committed relationship, because I know that's not a promise I can make in good conscience. But I really miss having a intimate friend, and sex has been in my experience the easiest path to forming an intimate relationship.

And also I really would like to have sex with her.

What I worry is that she might consider sex to be something requiring a committed relationship; and that I will agree to it just because I want to have sex. And that would be wrong.

So I find myself pondering just how committed to the relationship I would have to be in order to not implicitly promise anything I'm not capable of following through on.

On porn

Once you get good at reading body language, pornography takes on a whole new dimension.

There is no neutral way to have sex. A neutral attitude is in itself a statement on the sex-- because sex is not supposed to be neutral. Sex is the quintessential human experience.

It is impossible to have sex without revealing some part of yourself, even if it's a fake part. And then the persuasiveness of your facade will depend entirely on your partner's perception of you. Or in the case of pornography, the perception of the viewer.

Of course a really good actor can always pretend convincingly... But this is porn we're talking about. There are no good actors.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

A short post

It was on the tip of everyone's tongue, Trump just gave it a name.

They're the middle children of history. No purpose or place. Their Great War is a spiritual war. Their Great Depression is their lives. They were raised on television to believe they could be millionaires and movie stars and rock gods. But they wont. They are slowly learning that fact. And they are very, very pissed off.

The first rule of white club is you don't talk about white club.

Imagination is the concept art for potential realities. We can only do the things that we have figured out how to do. We can only plan for the things that we imagine are possible. The world is a complicated place, and we are all prone to magical thinking when reality is beyond our comprehension.

The further we stretch our knowledge the shorter the distance to a mistake.

People always deserve a second chance. Most people deserve a third chance. Close friends deserve fourth chances, fifth chances, sixth, seventh, as many as you can count.

If you lose count though, maybe it's time to move on.